I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My ATM looks so different sober.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
