i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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