Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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