she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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