I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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