So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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