why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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