I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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