I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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