Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
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