If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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