too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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