dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
