im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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