I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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