im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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