you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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