Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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