I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize