Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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