i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
