I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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