then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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