the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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