Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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