I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
