Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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