i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
