mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Found your dick twin last night
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
