My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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