I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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