well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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