so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize