I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
