okay pat passed out under dana's car
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
What drink are we having for lunch?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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