i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
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