You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize