seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
