All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize