How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize