I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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