Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
