hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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