i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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