so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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