Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
im on a boat
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