my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
