have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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