so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
