$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was born a porn star she said
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize