There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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