Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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