dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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