i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
