So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
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