pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
